Walk On
by Nightmarish Black
Summary: Axel never realized what he had until he lost it. Sometimes it takes losing what you love most to make it all the more precious to you. [AkuRoku][Axel 1st Person POV][Rated for Safety]
1. If Your Glass Heart Should Crack

This had been an idea of mine since listening to 'Walk On' by U2, which is, of course, the lyrics in here. I actually enjoied writing this. It's more of a OneShot than anything else, though there will be one more chapter after this. Hope you like, as this is my first attempt at first person POV.

* * *

And love is not the easy thing

The only baggage that you can bring

Love is not the easy thing

The only baggage you can bring

Is all that you can't leave behind...

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Roxas and I might have had a rocky start to our friendship, but it progressed remarkably. Although the pair of us were never even expected to get along, I think we've done pretty well. The rest of the Organization had this theory because, well, I never got along with anyone, except for Larxene, but that was on a respect-only basis. Roxas? He was this cute, innocent little kid who was a bit wary; a Keyblade Master, no less. Personally, I think the rest of 'em never even though he'd stand a chance if he was left alone with me. On that note...

Imagine my surprise when the blonde padded into my room one day, startling me out of my half-sleeping stage.

"You. You're Axel," he said this not like a question, but a statement. 'You're Axel, now shut the fuck up and listen to what I have to say to you.' That was the message he sent me; but you all know me; I'm not about to listen to what someone else has to say.

"Yeah, that's me." I straightened up, crossing my arms as I met his gaze. It was just then I realized how short he really was; the kid couldn't be any older than 15! I nearly laughed aloud at that, but managed to restrain myself.

The blue eyes (which I admit must have been just as vivid as my own green ones) stared me down, refusing to acknowledge my not-so-witty answer.

"What?" I demanded, getting off of the bed, arms still folded. "Do you need something, or did Xemnas decree that you no longer need to have to have a reason to enter someone's room without knocking?"

The boy rolled his eyes, muttering, "Oh, you're real mature. How old are you, anyways?" That was a personal question; I had a right to be offended. At least, that's what the smart person would have done. As we know, I'm not the smartest person.

"21, got it memorized?" I answered, scowling at him. Here was this little punk I'd never spoken to before in my room, demanding my age. Being me, of course I was going to see how long I could take this; see how far I could push the kid.

"21? 21 and you're still acting like a, like a, a complete idiot!"

Oh, clever, clever comeback, Roxy. He was an amusing boy, but really, this could only go on for so long until I got bored. "Look, as intelligently stimulating as this is, I've got things to do, so--"

"Xemnas want us to go and look for someone."

I was about to start laughing again, when what he said sunk in. "Wait... you mean, Xemnas wants us to do this together? As partners?" As I stared at him (maybe not the most intelligent thing to do), he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah, jackass. He wants us to work as partners, 'got it memorized'?" And off he went, using my catchphrase! Who said he could do that? "So get up and let's get going."

"You mean, he wants us to go now? As in, right now this instant?"

"Am I speaking a foreign language or something? Yes, now, yes this instant. I don't want to do this any more than you do, so let's get it over with." He had a point, but knowing Xemnas (which I think I did a little better than blondey), he wasn't about to give us one job together and then leave us alone. Hell no, that wasn't the Xemnas way.

With an overly-dramatic sigh, I pulled my cloak back on. What? Do you think I sleep fully clothed? If you must know, I was wearing my pants and nothing more. "What's the job?" I asked, pulling the boots on while hopping about to room to keep my balance. Luckily, they zipped up, making it easier for me. Zippers on the boots, zippers on the cloaks. Whoever came up with the outfits sure liked zippers.

"They want us to go check on something," He shrugged, unsure.

"Great," I grumbled, "First a mission with the new guy, then he doesn't even know what it is."

Those baby blues narrowed at me as he growled, "Do you not respect anyone?" The kid showed potential, but I wasn't about to take it easy on him.

Using a well-developed skill, I vanished from where I was standing and reappeared directly behind him, a chakram in either hand. I had one of the blades from each right by his neck as I hissed, "Don't screw with me, kid. You'll get my respect when you earn it." With that, I stepped away, making for the door. "Anyways, is it 'someone' or 'something'? Make up your mind."

"Some DiZ guy, whoever that is."

"Fine with me, then. Let's get this done with." Opening a portal, I stepped through, glancing back. "C'mon, Roxas." As I would be reminded later, that was the first time I used his name. He scurried after me and I snapped it closed maybe just a bit sharper than normal, to scare the new guy. Roxas sort of jumped, but was otherwise calm as we appeared outside, in the middle of a normal-looking street.

Being a veteran as this sort of thing, I moved a bit slower, sending out a handful of Dusks to scout out the area for enemies.

Roxas had a keyblade in each hand; one was black and much sharper looking, the other gold, white, and blue. 'Oblivion' and 'Oathkeeper' as I would later be informed. The kid was looking around nervously, biting his lip as he looked for enemies. He had moved maybe fifteen or so feet in front of me; this wasn't what I called partnership, but, as we all know, I fight by myself.

"A-Axel!" He yelped, looking the opposite direction from me.

"What?" I snapped perhaps a bit harshly, beckoning the Dusks back. I snorted as I saw what the kid had gotten himself into. Maybe twenty Heartless surrounded him, off assorted types. Oddly, they weren't on our side.

I'm guessing Roxas had never had a real fight with that many enemies before, but, luckily enough for him, I felt that if my partner was killed or seriously wounded on our first mission, I'd take the punishment.

There were literally flashes of the keyblades, and maybe four or five of the Heartless vanished, but were replaced by the same number. "Axel, help!"

"Alright, alright, calm down!" I yelled back, sending the Dusks to back him up. Normally I had them do my fighting for me, but when my partner needed to be babysat and there were enemies attacking me now, I had to give up that luxury. Summoning my chakrams, I threw them at the few enemies that had come after me, before half-running, half-sliding to Roxas' side. I could get my weapons back later.

"Get down!" I yelled, calling the chakrams back to me and whirling them in a circle, leaping up to do so. I wasn't sure if Roxas had obeyed my orders or not, but I had to go on. Landing in a crouch, I flung my arms out to the sides, sending up a sheet of flame. It was close enough that I could feel the heat from it, but I didn't have time to worry about that. With a quick spin of the chakrams, I threw them out to the sides, grabbing Roxas before I jumped out, leaving the Heartless to be devoured by the flames.

I let the boy down to the ground, more carefully than necessary as I checked on the Dusks and Heartless. Waiting until the fight was over; I looked back down to my 'partner'. "I just saved your ass," I pointed out. I felt entitled to it.

"Yeah, well," he returned, but trailed off there.

"Thank me later. I want to get back to the castle as soon as possible, and we have to get this done first." I stood, before thinking about the kid and offered him my hand. He took it, allowing me to help him up. "You owe me for that now, too."

"Bite me," he growled, dropping my hand and dusting his cloak off. As he did so, I looked for wherever this DiZ guy was. At least one of us had to put some effort into this thing, and apparently it wasn't going to be him.

But what he said was way too good to pass up. The Organization knew me for being provocative and flamboyant, and it was what I did best. Slipping up behind the kid, I whispered directly into his ear, "That could be arranged."

Roxas moved hurriedly away from me, marching off in what I presumed was the right direction. With a sigh, I dismissed the Dusks and followed after him, but caught up in case he was going to be attacked again. For being a Keyblade Master, he sure was, well, a little kid.

Upon reaching a building, the blonde led the way in, something I'm sure he enjoyed. I made sure to stay near, even when we went down a flight or two of stairs, ending up in a sort of basement. This was interesting, to say the least.

I kept alert, ready to summon the Dusks at the slightest sign of trouble; when Xemnas gave you a mission, there was a good chance your life would be endangered. Personally, I was more than a bit worried for my life. Even though Larxene and Marluxia were long-gone, I had killed Vexen on 'luxia's orders; Xemnas might be plotting his revenge for later. But hey, maybe I'm just paranoid.

"Think that's him?" Roxas' words startled me out of my thoughts once more. A man dressed almost solely in a bright crimson that was similar to my hair color stood facing a large computer screen with his back to us.

"Dunno," I hissed back, clamping my hand over his mouth. "But why don't you talk a little louder and have him discover us!" I sent out a pair of Dusks, which whirled closely to the man before coming back to me.

"A member of Organization XIII, I presume? Or are there more of you?" He had turned around right as I flung myself right in front of Roxas. Keeping an Ace in the hold, you know? Not that Roxas was much of an Ace…

"Number eight, Axel; got it memorized?" This man seemed to warrant an official introduction, though I wasn't about to mince words with him, nor waste time being polite.

"Pleasure, Axel," he returned, just as calmly as if I hadn't been a threat. "I'm supposing Xemnas sent you to check up on the simulator. It's over here." This was new. For some reason, he was cooperating with me. "And your friend can come, too. I'm guessing he's interested as well."

I turned around sharply, noticing Roxas was no longer behind me, but beside and a little in front of me. He glanced up at me, as if asking me permission. Throwing my arms up, I snorted. "Fine, go ahead."

He went down the last few stairs, followed by myself, though I went a bit more reluctantly. Not to mention, I wasn't about to let Roxas go over there without protection; I sent a few Dusks with him, though I was close behind.

"This is the simulator," DiZ began, seeing as he had our attention. "It can create memories in a person, as well as replace their original ones." This explanation went on for what must have been at least an hour, though Roxas was taking in every damned word. How it interested him, I'm not sure. Honestly, I understood maybe the first five minutes worth, but then it all sounded the same.

"Mission accomplished, can we go now?" I was close to fidgeting, which wouldn't make a very good impression.

Reluctantly, I could tell, Roxas tore himself away from the simulator and DiZ to look back at me. "Yeah, I guess."

Leading the way out of the building, I turned to make sure Roxas was following. Now, I could've opened a portal while inside, but that would be in bad taste; that DiZ guy might get an idea. You also might ask why I didn't appear directly inside the mansion, and the reason was more of the same, not to mention if you're opening a portal to a place you've never been before, it could get messy. The street had been the best I could do.

"Hey, Axel!" Roxas yelled, coming out after me.

"What? C'mon, I want to get back to the castle." I folded my arms, facing him. He opened his mouth to say something, presumably a warning, but I never heard it, as numerous Heartless jumped on my from behind, knocking me over.

"Axel!" Trust the kid to worry now.

I flung my arms out, knocking a few of the Heartless off, though more only jumped on, keeping me pinned to the ground. As we all know, I'm skinny and not the strongest member of the Organization, which was making it difficult to wrestle the Heartless off of me.

"Hold still!" I heard Roxas shout, though I was busy trying to keep the black things off my face so they couldn't smother me. Oblivion and Oathkeeper cut through the Heartless, extremely close to my face and body, so I made sure to keep still. Within seconds, the kid had gotten rid of them pests, effectively saving me (though in my defense I would have been able to take care of them myself).

"Well," blondey smirked, offering me his hand, "Guess we're even now." Rolling my eyes, I took his hand, getting up and dusting my cloak off as if nothing had happened.

"Don't get used to it. I don't need your help, got it memorized?"

Roxas only shrugged, though I could see him grinning over at me. "Sure thing, Axel."

Doing my best to ignore the suddenly-friendly Roxas, I opened a portal, stepping through. "God, no more partner missions."

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And if the darkness is to keep us apart

And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off

And if your glass heart should crack

And for a second you turn back

Oh no, be strong


	2. Home Is Where the Hurt Is

Well, this is the end of the fic. I'm sorry that I can only seem to write AkuRoku tragedy One/TwoShots. I'll have to come up witha happy one. Anyways. More lyrics in this chapter, as I wanted to get all these in. Enjoy.

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You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been

A place that has to be believed, to be seen

You could have flown away

A singing bird in an open cage

Who will only fly, only fly, for freedom

Oh, oh

Walk on, walk on

What you got, they can't deny it

Can't sell it, or buy it

Walk on, walk on

You stay safe tonight

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Things were slow enough around the castle for a while, giving myself and Roxas time to bond, as the kid had a knack for showing up in my room without me noticing. One example of this was quite odd and even embarrassing for me.

I had been in bed (I do need to get sleep, even if I don't have a heart), sleeping, when something shifted the weight on the mattress. Opening my eyes to not the blinding whiteness of the walls, but to darkness, I made a face; it had to be maybe four in the morning! "What the hell?" I grumbled, sitting up, my back against the headboard. When my sight finally managed to clear, there was that shock of blonde hair and the blue eyes that I knew too well. "Roxy?"

Now, I would have said more had the kid not decided to scoot closer to me, meeting my sleepy eyes with his wide-awake ones. Making a face, I sat up fully, rubbing my eyes as I summoned a small amount of fire so that I could see. Why the new guy was sitting on my bed was a mystery to me, so I stared him down, waiting for him to explain himself.

"Axel… could you tell me about the other Organization members?" Still being mostly asleep, I didn't know what he was talking about until he clarified. "The ones who…were killed by Sora before I joined."

"Larxene, Vexen, Lexaeus, and Marluxia?" I was finally catching on. I said nothing about Zexion, as I didn't know if he was really dead or not. When Roxas nodded, I thought about this for a moment, unsure how best to explain it all. He hadn't been here to meet all of the original twelve, not including himself. "Larxene was the one girl in the Organization. Blonde, blue eyes, with antennaes in her hair. Lexaeus was a whale, the strong and silent type. Marluxia was the one who started the whole problem… flower-power guy. Sora took all of them out."

Roxas listened silently, crouching beside me. "What about Vexen?" Now came the hard part.

"Old guy; always going on about 'respecting your elders'."

"How'd he die?"

Oh, man, awkward silence. For some reason, I felt I owed him the truth on this one.

"When I was with Marluxia and Larxene, I was ordered to kill Vexen," I began hesitantly, knees pulled up with my elbows resting on them. "Sora had defeated Vexen by the time I got there, but I still took him out."

The kid's eyes widened, "So you killed him?"

I shrugged, not sure how to go about explaining. "Yeah."

The late evening-early morning visits came often from them on, two or three times a week I would be awoken by the kid sitting on my bed, asking me things about the Keyblade, Nobodies, Heartless, the Organization, and moreover, who he really was. I answered them bets I could, as for who he really was at heart? Hell, I didn't, still don't, know who I am.

Maybe three weeks later was when it happened. Another 'wake up Axel when he should be sleeping' visit came, though when I sat up this time, already wide awake (I hadn't been sleeping), he only had one question, a request, more like.

"Axel?" Roxas asked, crouching right next to me. When I summoned a wisp of fire, assuring him I was awake, he continued. The next thing he said was accompanied with that determined face I know so well. "I want you to kiss me."

My eyes widened in surprise. It wasn't that I was shocked he had asked me to kiss him… that was worded wrong; let me put it another way. It's not like I was straight; the whole Organization knew it, it was just kind of accepted that I was gay. But what was surprising was the fact that my best friend (I had great respect for the kid by this point) wanted me to kiss him.

"Why, Roxas?' I had a right to know. If I was going to kiss him, I wanted to know why.

"Just do it." Yup, that was Roxy all right.

Putting the flame out, I reached over to turn on the lamp beside my bed. It was a nice bed, canopy, red silk, and so on and so forth. When I looked back to him, he was still there, pretty eyes still watching me intently. I was being scrutinized. "Alright then." I could at least do this for him. Not to say I wasn't partially doing it for myself; maybe I had a bit of a crush on him.

"Lay down," I commanded, straddling him when he obliged. Putting a hand on either side of his neck, I leaned down, pressing my own chapped lips to his. I shifted my weight so that I could slip a hand up his shirt, noticing he was toned despite his skinny build.

He writhed underneath me, which only succeeded in getting me worked up, truthfully. He'd asked for me to kiss him, not to screw him, so I 'controlled' myself, slipping my tongue in past his lips when he groaned silently.

When I broke for air, panting as I looked down at the boy beneath me, he blushed, reaching up to tug on that one lock of hair that hangs down over my ear, pulling me back down on top of him. I was taken off-guard, but ran with it, moving down to kiss his neck. After that, though, I could feel myself getting too into it and let him up, brushing my hair out of my face.

There were no more midnight visits after that, as the next day was our last.

It was dark; it was always dark in The World That Never Was; a fitting place for us, those who never were. The building's fluorescent lights were on, as always, it was dark, as always, but myself and Roxas were outside in the streets, far enough away from the castle.

Roxas had turned his back to me, but I knew what face he would be making; even with the cloak on, I knew how he was standing. He was leaving; leaving the Organization; leaving me.

"You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" I shouted after him, grabbing for things to say to get him to at least face me. I didn't want him to leave. A few months ago, I wouldn't have cared, but now, if he left, I would be by myself again. I'd gotten too used to his company.

"No one would miss me." He sort of glanced back at me, words dismal. Was he really going to leave me by myself? How would I cope? With that, he began to walk off, steps firm and stubborn; decided.

"That's not true…" I murmured, clenching my hands into fists as I resisted the urge to run after him and grab his cloak, beg him to stay, rethink things. "I would." Why was I admitting this? I slumped, closing my eyes. By the time I opened them again, he was gone, no trace of him left behind. Stumbling back to the wall, I slid down, my back against it. I ended up with my head in my hands, refusing to admit he wasn't coming back. I sat like that for hours, not noticing when it began to rain.

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And I know it aches

And your heart, it breaks

You can only take so much

Home...

Hard to know what it is, if you never had one

Home...

I can't say where it is, but I know I'm going

Home...

That's where the hurt is...


End file.
